Ingenue

Happy Anniversary, Mum & Dad

Today is the 21st anniversary of the unification of my parents as husband and wife. So, it's never a bad day on 2nd Jan. Not even today. As I'm typing this now, my parents are on the bus heading towards this puny island. I don't know whether to feel excited or worried. At least mum can accompany to ZARA tomorrow. Heard there's a sale going on. Yeah! I can finally get hold of that skirt.

Jeremy got me two pair of Esprit socks for Christmas. Strangely, I was daydreaming on the bus on my way to Sixth Ave to meet Jeremy, Jean & Boon. I had this little daydream that Jeremy gave me a pair of socks! You bet my jaw dropped when I saw the socks. Dejavu. Thanks, Jeremy. You're too sweet. Brighton, where's my present??? You get rid of that fever bug first, yah? Why is everyone falling sick on New Year? Hmm.

FINALLY. I read "Filterlanes". For some peculiar reason, I've never seem to have gotten the chance to read it. Honestly, I don't know what to say about it. Sorry, Boon. I don't see how I'm supposed to judge someone's personal feelings and rantings. It doesn't seem right. I wouldn't want someone to spot grammatical mistakes, typos or even comment about my thoughts. The beauty about personal writing to me is not to judge it but rather to appreciate & to respect it instead. Watch out for the next issue of "Filterlanes". Haha, can I pre-order a copy?

posted by ingenue @ 5:31 AM

sparkling new year

I've to say, things DID turned around for the better at the last minute. There are some friends who will always be there eventhough you've forgotten them for awhile. I celebrated New Year with an old friend and several other strangers whom I just met an hour before midnight. It's amazing how I clicked so well with my new friends. There was even a cutie within the group (Haha, can't help it!) so I guess I was treated to some eye-candy.

Met Joyce at the Esplanade, her bf was playing at the live gig there just after midnight. Hmm, I didn't know there was a live gig though! Bumped into Daniel who spent NY at Marina's arcade with Jeremy, Lidong & Jean (They later caught "School of Rock" which I've already seen 3 times. Bleh.) This year's celebration may not be as fun as last year's hard core dance party at Khom's but I found myself smiling at the end of the day. Thanks to Victor who called to wish me slightly past midnight (Haha, I was hoping for any phone calls!) and those who SMS me greetings.

Ah! I love fireworks! I felt like a child staring up into the open sky as colourful sparks bursts (which strangely synchronises with the dramatic music score the organisers were playing). It was beautiful! It has been years since I last witness fireworks at the event (I'm not counting those TV ones). My dream is to buy a bunch of fireworks and shoot them up in the sky on my 21st birthday! Haha, dream on lar. That will never happen in Sillypore. I'm turning 21 soon. I'm old.

posted by ingenue @ 10:57 AM

Last Entry of the Year

It seems like today is going to be a quiet day. I think people are avoiding me for some strange reason. Maybe it's just me. At first I felt like going out to have a good time but right now, fuck it lar. Maybe I'll just lie on my bed and count "3...2...1... Happy Fuck Year" It's just another year. No biggie.

I'll be staying home tonite watching silly foam parties. I hope Van is doing well now. Hope her mum will get well soon & her brother too. I hope 2004 is a better year. Really. I've had enough of bad luck in 2003. Don't make me pull the trigger.

posted by ingenue @ 11:49 PM

painful pleasure & my 2004 NY resolutions

Why do people resort to physical mutilation when it comes to repairing a broken heart? Self-inflicted pain will not solve anything. So why can't people just get that in their heads? Maybe it makes you feel better (or so you think) but at the end of the day, these injuries are merely temporary distraction from the main problem. I'm not referring this to any particular person. I'm just addressing the issue here. Because I used to be the silly teenager who enjoyed craving on my thighs with a pen knife. At least I know I've moved on to a safer alternative.

Nothing has changed since my transition from a teenager to a young adult. I'm still the angsty, rebellious & foul-mouth teenager. Have I not grow up at all? I'm fucking twenty and I still feel like a 15-year old. Call me a late bloomer. I experienced life a little too late. It's not my fault I'm the way I am. Blame society, social values & hierarchy. I don't have as much freedom then, compared to this day. But, that doesn't make me a better person.

Is it time to be religious? When unhappiness looms, people question the meaning of life & their existence. Some turn to religion for answers. Some just kill themselves. Some wander around aimlessly, wishing for a miracle because they're too afraid to do anything else. I'm the latter. I onced said, "From today onwards, I'm gonna live my life to the fullest". A friend said, "Why now? Why all the sudden?" I replied, "Just feel like it". As lame as it sounds, I have no fucking idea. I was being honest.

Who invented these New Year's resolution bullshit? I never keep them. Even this year's simple THREE resolutions (1. Sleep more, 2. Eat less, 3. Spend less), I couldn't even keep them. I ended up with sleepless nights due to CTV, script, work, stupid thoughts & late-night movies. I ate more than I should have (so much for being vegetarian again. blah.). Spend less? Hahaha. If so, I wouldn't be worrying shit about my parents coming down this weekend and find out about my account balance. 2004 might just start off badly due to a few digits. Damn.

Maybe for once, I should have NY's resolutions that I would keep.
1. Eat wisely.
2. Sleep wisely.
3. Spend wisely.
4. Think wisely.
5. Graduate.

In short, 2004 will be the year I wish to turn wiser. I can't go stupider as years go by. It's not right. Happy New Year, everyone. My condolences to the late Anita Mui who passed away last night. You'll always be an icon to Chinese cinema & music scene. May you rest in peace.

posted by ingenue @ 1:34 AM

2003 recap

2003 has been a rollercoaster ride for me. Manys ups and many downs. It's a pity that the year is ending quite badly for me. I hope next year would be a better year for me *fingers cross* and same goes for the many years to come if I were to live that long.

I dun even know what else to blog. My mind is occupied with many nonsensical issues. I wish I could just wash it all away & enjoy the final two days of 2003. I wouldn't call this a great year but it's probably the year with a few turning points. It was a rock 'n' roll experience. I couldn't ask for more or less.

posted by ingenue @ 8:21 AM