Ingenue

RETROMONKS.net

Hey all. A message from the moderator of retromonks.net. Just pay them a visit and yeah, join the forums. I'm orangefactory there. See ya!


@2300


I hate feeling bloated. Arrgghh. Screw you, you damn uterus. Go bleed somewhere. And, yeah take the cramps along with you. Go on a beach holiday or something. Leave me alone. Thanks to you, I spent the entire day watching Britney Spear's music video and yes, even her movie, "Crossroads". How fun.


'School of Rock' rawks! I find myself listening to AC/DC, Ramones, Jimi Hendrix all the sudden. C'mon, Jack Black's the MAN! He has made it to my top ten list of favourite comedians - not too sure which position though but I can assure you, Mr Black is on a very satisfactory position. *head bangs to 'back in black'*


Just saw the pdf format of TODAY newspaper. WTF. I look like a spastic idiot making the biggest jump to her death with a fake smile on her face! Hah. I actually thought Boon looks really... err... pleasant. I look like I'm gonna burst into some laughing fit soon. Hey, they didn't use any of my killer quotes. Hmm, I'm disappointed man. Zaki said I look emo. Shaun said my clothes look weird. Damn. I hope nobody else recognises me. *hides face*

posted by ingenue @ 7:17 AM

@2100


Dear Mum,


I know it’s a pain in ass to have a daughter like me. I know how bitter it is to raise me for the past twenty years. But, have you wondered how hard it is for me to live up to your expectations? Or how torturous it is to put on a fake smile every time you yak to your friends about me not being a good daughter? For years, you’ve been comparing me nonstop to my friends, cousins and your friend’s kids. Scrutinizing me from head to toe – my grades in school, piano skills, gymnastics, running, high jump, badminton, tennis, swimming, debate, drawing, ballet, expenditure, ambition, love life, colour of my hair – gosh, the list goes on. ENOUGH, MUM. Enough.


I know I’m not as smart as Julie. I know I’m not pretty or refine like Rong. I know I don’t have clear complexion like Siew Wei. I know I’m not the best daughter in the world like Jayne. I know I’m not as hardworking like Zhang Lih. I know I’m not an excellent piano player like whoever your friend’s kid is. I know I’m not a genius to earn a scholarship like Uncle Tee’s daughter. I know I don’t have aggressiveness of Hiew Ni. I know I’m not a great sport player like you when you’re young. Gosh. Why can’t I just be MEEEEEE!?! *screams*


Having less pimples doesn’t mean I’ll be a better person. So what if I drink a little alcohol? I mean who doesn’t? What? You want me to coop up at home 24/7 a day and take care of my skin? What for? Get a rich husband and be a “tai tai”? Gimme a break. I want to go out and do my own thing. I hate being compared to every single being in this world. I hate being scrutinized from what I look like and wear to how I behave. I’m not a lady-like person – and you know it. I’ve never been one. I like being myself. You make me try to be someone else but sorry mum, I can’t. I have TRIED but I can’t. Sorry if I’ve hurt you in anyway – I didn’t scream at you. I was just expressing how I felt. If you choose not to talk to me, that’s fine. Because I’m a little tired from trying to impress you and making you happy for being a person I’m not.


Maybe it would be good if you learn to accept me, mum. Really. I may not be a role model for sister. I didn’t choose to be one. I wish she could be more like the perfect daughter you long for. I’m tired, mum. Really. You, take care. I love you. Just don’t be too pushy. It really gets on my nerves.


Love, me.

posted by ingenue @ 5:07 AM

@2130


Women's magazines are equivalent to self-help books except with a higher frequency. I've been indulging myself with some old 'CLEO' mags which mum bought. Funky articles like, "Are Celebs Glamorising Smoking?", "7 Love Freak Outs", "Are You Overdosing On Love?", "The Boob Guide" and "I Cut Up All His Clothes..." Ooh... exciting! This signifies how goddamn bored I am. Although I've just bought three movies (School of Rock, American Wedding & Scary Movie 3) which I've yet to see because 'Muriel's Wedding' was on Cinemax just now.


In the latest edition of Cleo mag, there's an article called, "Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys..." Interesting. According to this article (some Australian study by University of New South Wales), 60% of the men had been attracted to men during adolescent and more than 40% still felt that wat. Playboy mag's poll shows that 35% of men had engaged in sexual activity with another guy. And, 37% had some overt homosexual experience to the point of orgasm.


Well, cut the figure crap - this article said that most women are not able to accept men because the men are termed as "gay" - seriously, I think these women are completely shallow. I mean it does sound awkward to see your boyfriend running away with another man (not women) but hey, everyone's human no? I guess this boils down to a person'a honesty. Would you want to be with a person who lied about his sexuality so you and him could lead a happy "straight" relationship or let him spill his sexual beans - prbably invite a guy for an orgy? Haha, I'm kiddin. I guess for the men who wants to get a stiff one are just in it for the sex. Unless emotions are involved - that's a different case. Tralalala.


I long to talk to Hiew Ni - my god sister who's having a ball in Florida. Miss talking to you till the cows come home. You're probably one of the few who really knew the 'real' me and accepted me for my idiosyncrasies. Miss you, babe. It's weird how my trip back home this time 'round is so different than any other time. Mainly because no one's around. I'm bored to death. However, I'm spending my weekend in Genting. Yippee! Rollercoaster, here I come!


Get well soon, Andy Kaufman. I don't want you to chat with me less than 10 mins everytime I see you online. Blah.

posted by ingenue @ 5:41 AM

@2150


Been downloading Ben Lee, Liz Phair and Fountains of Wayne songs from Kazaa (yeah, yeah... that's what my sister uses). I've to say I'm starting to like Ben Lee (first of all, I'm thinking of him as Claire Dane's bf) - well, his songs of course. He looks like a stick insect but he's dating one of the hottest actress around. Wait, are they still together? Oh well, like I care anyway. Check this song out by Ben Lee: Cigarettes Will Kill You. Bet he doesn't smoke eh?


Been watching too much satellite tv. It has been raining cats & dogs here. I hope the lightning won't strike my satellite dish liek ti did the last time and one week without good channels wasn't funny. Hmm, watched 'Mr Jekyll & Ms. Hyde' & 'The Majestic'. Blah blah blah.

Poor Andy Kaufmann is sick. Hope he's feeling better after hugging 'Rusty'. I'll blow bubbles for you when i get back, Andy.

posted by ingenue @ 6:03 AM

@2230

Screw you all. HBO... Starmovies... Cinemax... for playing lousy movies all day. So far, I've only seen two romantic comedies, It Had To Be You and Blind Date. I can't even have a smooth-sailing movie marathon without having bad movies like "Superman II" playing. Ugh. Speaking about BAD playlist. Lemme see what's on. Oh, 'Dude, Where's My Car' - I think I'm gonna watch 'Bend It Like Beckham' one more time. Sigh.

Went to Penang today with Dad. He was on a business trip, I was just tagging along. Nothing much. Just had the famous fried kway teow which costs RM5 per plate (WTF?!?) and ice kacanh which costs RM2.50 per bowl (WTF again?!?). Gosh. Penang hawkers are really taking every penny from your pocket. Not like the food's fantastic also. Sigh. I'm settling for pasta next time 'round. Dad bought me an Abercrombie & Fitch top. Hurrah!

I'm so goddamn bored. Really. Ask Shaun. I kept seeing him online. I hope he hasn't finish my nougats. I want my nougats & frogs! Arrgghh! Imight be going back the week after next. Feel like bumming around Taiping. Satellite TV whore. LOL.

posted by ingenue @ 6:42 AM

@1700

Tomato.
Let me profess my obsession to you. You, big red juicy one. So desirable, yet so wicked. Why would anyone HATE you? You're my drug. Leaving me high. And dry. Lick off that sour after taste on the side of my lips. You bitch.

Back in Taiping. Tralalala. I'm still recovering from the horrendous bus ride (leaking, dirty, smelly, sleepy, rainy. You get the picture). At least I was back in time to hang out with Khom and Julie. Woah, its great to finally meet up and share stories. Ironically, the three of us are experiencing a similar addiction at three different levels. Nice. I love tomatoes. Really. My new obsession with a fruit.

posted by ingenue @ 1:25 AM